05/12/06 Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1966), directed by William Beaudine

watched solo; DVD (personal copy) @ car ride (from Woodbine, GA to Savannah, GA)

You should be able to tell simply from the horrific title alone that this was going to be a gleaming turd on the roadside of a movie. Something that you may pass by, catch a glimpse of, realize what it is you just saw, and dart your eyes away as soon as is humanly possible in order to not throw up and focus on driving. Unfortunately, with Leslie helming the vehicle and me having some technological troubles with the DVD player...this was what I was stuck focusing on. Boy did my eyes hurt by the end of it...not so much from staring at a tiny screen in the dark, as it was trying to hold the crying on the inside to a minimum for my torture. What can I say about this glorious work that isn't already alluded to in the main credits? Oh yeah, it's not actually Frankenstein's daughter so much as it is his grand-daughter. Jesse James is pretty much a wimp, with a gigantic oaf of a sidekick who becomes the perfect prey for the mad-scientist lady's evil brain experiments. It's based in a very Mexican-populated western town, where there happens to be a castle run by the wealthy Frankenstein family. Some of the worst dying scenes ever by a shoot-em-up western film. I would have much rather watched this in MST3K format, or with legendary B-movie connoisseur Joe Bob Briggs' commentary. Apparently this foolish flick was directed infamously by quickie-filmmaker Bill "One-Shot" Beaudine for his lack of second takes on his editing process. Quality.

1 out of 5 stars