09/16/06 Turkish Star Wars

Turkish Star Wars (1982), directed by Cetin Inanc

watched solo; DVD (borrowed from Jason) @ home & car ride (Raleigh, NC); suggested by Jason

Where can you even begin to justify the existence of this movie? Granted, the mere audacity that one would have to possess in order to produce this epic theft is enough to get Homeland Security on the phone. The sheer smugness one would have to carry on their countenance as they not only filmed this joke, but then turned around to an adoring public to unleash its wrath. The utter brilliance one would have to control in order to acknowledge those said factors, not care, and boldly stand behing their product as simply that..."their product" is beyond me. It's all beyond me. Some things that aren't are the plot, delivery of lines and action, costume design, script writing, and pretty much every other essential element to a "film." While none of those things are at all talented in any way, the premise of this film is hilarious. You honestly have to see it to believe it (as I had to bring the portable DVD player with me tonight to a party just so others had the chance to catch a glimpse of this holy mess)...and then you shall enjoy it. Get beyond why this film was made (an unapologetic rip off of George Lucas famous global phenomenon with the "Star Wars" franchise), and get into the misinformed Turkish interpretation of it. This is low budget at its lowest, and sci-fi just because sci-fi was cool at the time. Basically, you have two Turkish intergalactic fighters Murat and Ali (a sort of Siegfried & Roy combo with "Battlestar Galactica" outfits on), that not only fight alien evil but their latent homoerotic emotions toward each other in physical fisticuffs. They shoot across the galaxy fighting bad guys (some of which are literally dancing Grateful Dead bears with weapons, and the only way to kill them seems to be rip their furry heads off). They do lots of stuff, and then some more stuff...stuff happens. What is insane is that they completely rip off ideas from not only "Star Wars" (which provides the better part of the opening 10 minutes of the film footage with erratic snippets of the Death Star blowing up and Tie Fighters flying)...but also "Indiana Jones" and "Planet Of The Apes." And these guys didn't even stop there with the stealing of a good thing...they made an entire franchise of their own out of it. Some other titles in this Turkish black market ring including "Turkish Exorcist," "Turkish Superman," "Turkish Star Trek," and "Turkish Wizard Of Oz." Can't wait to see that ridiculousness.

3 out of 5 stars