10/02/06 Bewitched

Bewitched (2005), directed by Nora Ephron

watched w/ Leslie (partially); DVD (borrowed from Rebecca) @ home

Why on Earth would you think that a remake of this magnitude would be necessary or important to our pop culture or way of life in any respect?!? It wouldn't even strike me as all that lucrative of an idea for the executives to make in the industry. Heck, I know Nora Ephron hasn't done crap in years (I guess it's more like she's done nothing but crap for years), but this is her best attempt at a comeback? The only thing...and I mean the only thing that remotely saved this thing from being a useless piece of non-biodegradable garbage was a few flashes of brilliance in the zany comedy rants of Will Ferrell (and I guess both Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert thrown in for witty retorts). Seriously, think of the amount of talent that is wasted here (then think hard about how much these very talented people must command in salaries alone to have paid so much money in efforts to produce this piece of doggie doo). Yes, there's world-renowned actors in their twilight years trying to earn a little cha-ching on the side to pay for the medical bills (Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine). There's also support comedic roles for the likes of the two Steve's, David Alan Grier, Richard Kind, Amy Sedaris, Jason Schwartzman, Mo Rocca, and Conan O'Brien...who all must have been lied to horribly to ever think they would be in a funny film. Then there's the unwavering academia of cinema himself, James Lipton (whom Will Ferrell did a hilarious impression of in his old "SNL" days)...making some completely bad career move by becoming an anecdote for this movie in one of his later "Inside The Actors Studio" guest interviews. And can anyone tell me why beautiful Nicole Kidman insists on making these wretched reamkes of old TV shows and movies (see another awful turn in 2004's remade "Stepford Wives" as a light-hearted comedy)?! Make it stop! I guess this one is not a true remake in the traditional sense...but rather a modern day movie studio's attempt to remake a television classic by enlisting a fading superstar Jack's (Ferrell) career and a no-name local casting call...and actual witch Isabel (Kidman). Yes, a film within a film if you will, where Jack and his agent think it smart to revive his acting career by casting him as Darrin in a sure-fire hit of a TV-show remaking "Bewitched." Looking for the right nose-wiggling beauty to be the famed Samantha, real-life witch Isabel falls in their laps. But when Isabel's attempts to hide her true bewitching identity come out in some wacky witching wizardry...she can't help but be herself. Much to the amazement of dim-witted Jack, and to the disapproval of her father (Caine)...Isabel must do what's right with her new-found fame. The story goes back and forth from so-called reality and television, back to reality than to film...but it maintains a consistent air of stupidity throughout the actual film. I've wasted my time now watching it, then explaining it to you all. Good night.

2 out of 5 stars