12/03/06 The Librarian: Return To King Solomon's Mines
The Librarian: Return To King Solomon's Mines (2006), directed by Jonathan Frakeswatched w/ Leslie; television (TNT) @ home
To say that this film was highly anticipated (as most reviews do) is like saying that tooth decay followed by root canal is highly anticipated. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, because I know that Leslie will say she enjoyed the film tremendously. I'm sure it's everyone's dream to be a hapless career grad student (Noah Wyle, the dude from "ER" who can't cut it in real movies, so he has to stick to the small screen & bad special effects) who applies luckily to become the librarian/curator of a prestigious library/museum that has magical qualities, thanks in large part to old wise bossman Bob Newhart, and finds that he is the "chosen one" to save the world of evil and protect the most priceless artifacts of civilizations past. Uh, yeah, the dude from "ER" you say? Not buying it. Sorry. When you give me the chance to watch any TNT channel movie, brace for the impending doom. It's called the small screen for a reason, but of course...when the original was a sleeper hit, they went all "big-budget" with a sequel...and well, I think they let their fifth-grade computer class work on the fireball explosions and animated in-animate objects. A horribly cheesy knock-off of anything "Harry Potter" crossed with everything "Indiana Jones," and casting any former cast member of any TV medical drama...and you have this magical mystery tour. It's corny, it's hokey, and it's only saving grace is the ever-quirky and quippy Newhart (bless his heart). What's that you say? And this crap doesn't even count for my daily movie? Damn rules.
2 out of 5 stars
posted by Undead Film Critic @ 9:03 AM
27 Comments:
At 9:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
Although the Librarian 2, lacks some of the freshness of The Spear of Destiny, for those who find themselves returning again and again to school desiring degree after degree, it gives hope. I know if I keep to my studies one day, maybe I can get turned down for a job at the prestigious Library.
As The Spear of Destiny paralleled Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return to King Soloman's Mines was a match for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom--a fact one Brad McHugh failed to mention.
L
At 10:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
12/04/06 The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen
The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen (1988), directed by Terry Gilliam
watched w/ Leslie; DVD rental (Netflix) @ home
So, in the annals of Gilliam’s wonderfully majestic and captivating fantasy films, I still can’t believe that it took me almost 20 years to see this epic undertaking. But, then again, when isn’t a Terry Gilliam film an epic undertaking…usually with disastrous box office and studio results, yet such critical acclaim and praise. Diving right into this one, we follow the exploits of a 17th century aristocrat, his loyal yet off-kilter cronies, and a little girl who tags along for the adventure of a lifetime. Most people believe the Baron to be a mad lunatic who fancies himself the hero of tales ranging from explorations to the moon, inside the belly of a great sea-monster, to a dance floor with the lovely muse Venus, and battling evil creatures galore. It doesn’t surprise to read that this British character is also the source of the realistic psychiatric diagnosis commonly known as “Munchausen’s Syndrome,” a very bizarre form of hypochondria. However, it only takes a moment of childish fervor and imagination to jump from one world of cynicism and adulthood, to one of whimsical and incomprehensible fantasy. Once the viewer, along with the characters within the story, let go of their inhibitions (which is truly the way to fully enjoy Gilliam and his dark-toned pixie-dust lunacy)…the sweeping storyline bewilders and bedazzles them. There are even plenty of familiar acting faces here (Robin Williams, Uma Thurman, Jonathan Pryce, Eric Idle), but even these recognizable stars become lost in the creative cacophony that is Baron Munchausen. John Neville is the true star, as the laughable and lovable Hieronymus Karl Frederick Baron von Munchausen. Suck on that syndrome.
4 out of 5 stars
At 10:08 PM,
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At 11:06 PM,
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12/04/06 Dogtown And Z-Boys
Dogtown And Z-Boys (2001), directed by Stacy Peralta
watched solo; DVD rental (North American Video) @ home
OK, I’m going to pretend like I’m cooler than I actually am here for a minute, and say that I was a wicked thrasher back in the day on my Nash dozer, tweakin’ my bod so that goofy ollie 360 fakie nose grind tailflip I was trying to pull off was totally rad, not a bogus shred. What the fakie am I talking about?! In all seriousness, I wish I could have been as cool as these pioneering and trailblazing skateboarders were in the Venice Beach, Cali ‘burbs. These so-called Z-Boys of the Zephyr skating team were ripping the face off of conventional skateboarding wisdom, revolutionizing their trade with the before unheard-of styles of low riding and sick tricks that seemed unattainable before. Not to mention, they were a bit on the wildside, as their rebellious nature took them through many a backyard pool break-ins to skate some homemade half-pipes during the dismal 70’s California droughts. What began as a hobby, spurned by an angst-ridden lifestyle, these young men & women became the forerunners of what today is a multi-million dollar sport and media frenzy. Here, it shows the bare-bones roots of these “athletes” who were very skilled creators, yet simply a tough bunch of kids with something to prove to themselves, while sticking it to the establishment. While it was much more than just a teen rebellion, this documentary delves into firsthand accounts from the likes of now-legendary Jay Adams, Tony Alva, and Stacy Peralta (who also directed) to uncover the intrinsic cultural aspects of this fringe sport. You can see how prevalent the vibe was from the very likes of those cameos who speak to their childhood in interesting interviews, including Henry Rollins, Tony Hawk, and narrator Sean Penn…all set to an influenced punk rock soundtrack. Alas, the only claim to skating glory I have is the mini-skateboard (a.k.a. dozer) that I’ve clung on to all these years, which features another icon of times gone past, Max Headroom (www.maxheadroom.com), and the all too noticeable scars of falling off of skateboards onto my bare hands. P-p-p-p-p-peace out-t-t-t-t.
- 5 out of 5 stars
At 11:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
12/05/06 Stay
Stay (2005), directed by Marc Forster
watched solo; DVD rental (North American Video) @ home
I knew going into the film that the director Marc Forster, had a great blend of grittiness (“Monster’s Ball”) and surreal dexterity (“Finding Neverland”)…but aside from his directorial techniques…little else about the film. I read a lot about it being another knock-off of the sub-genre of surreal thrillers spawned by the likes of “The Sixth Sense” and others. However, it was soon revealed to me that this was not your ordinary film, and that within certain beautiful segments of cinematography and brilliantly poised acting, this became a quite enjoyable film. Maybe I was a sucker for the layered fragments of thought and surreal effects, but I began to get lost in the world of “Stay.” The story permeates the odd relationship of a psychologist Dr. Foster (Ewan McGregor) who comes into the consultation of a disturbed art student Henry (Ryan Gosling) who begins his therapeutic sessions by announcing the fact that he will commit suicide on his 21st birthday, a date which is fast approaching. Staggered by this notification, Dr. Foster delves deep into the psyche of Henry, on a quickly paced spiral into the darkest inner-workings of the broken human condition. He enlists the help of his girlfriend Lila (Naomi Watts), which soon only begin to complicate matters, as Dr. Foster teeters on the brink between fantasy and reality…sanity dangling loosely on his consciousness. The movie bounces back and forth and a somewhat erratic clip, but one that I found totally engrossing and couldn’t turn away from. Some twists & turns, some seen, some sneaky…but all the while enjoyable. The lines are blurred, the clock is ticking, but the emotions and acting seem real. Not to be too corny, but the plot kept me wanting, perhaps in some sort of lucid subliminal way…rooted to the film watching, I wanted nothing more than to “stay.”
5 out of 5 stars
At 12:22 AM,
Anonymous said…
12/06/06 Gates Of Heaven
Gates Of Heaven (1980), directed by Errol Morris
watched solo; DVD rental (Netflix) @ home
Wow. That’s about all I can say. Wow. I mean, to think that you can center the premise of your delving documentary on the likes of something as eccentric and bizarre as the world of pet cemeteries…and people generally will like it…that deserves a wow. I wouldn’t have believed that the subject matter was worth more than the interesting article it was based upon (“450 Dead Pets Going To Napa Valley”, which I must admit would have been a much better movie title…perhaps less subtle, but it would have roped them into theaters, no?). Did you think that what should have remained on the back pages of some respectable literary mag like National Geographic or Time, could fill an entire hour and a half worth of captivating interviews and insightful anecdotes. Well, leave it to documentarian of the stars, Errol Morris to tackle the subject, bring it to the forefront, and hit one out of the park with humor, intrigue and genuine interest. Morris jumps into a definitely morbid livelihood to cozy up to those who make it their living, including pet cemetery proprietors, embalmers, pet owners, and law makers about the definitions, stereotypes, business, and judicial mandates of such a thing. From those in it just for the bucks, including one man who bluntly talks of horses being shipped to the “glue factory,” something that I never truly comprehended until I heard him speak about it…and those loving pet owners who have cherished their animals as one of the family, wanting only to give them a proper farewell from this Earth. It is an equally entertaining and shocking testament to our society as both one of cold moneymakers, and heartfelt humanitarians…all wrapped up in an eccentric sense of humor. You really will have to watch this film to believe it, but I highly recommend doing that very thing. Believe it, it exists out there…and all the better to be aware of the freaks. Also, I read that fellow film student and documentarian Werner Herzog bet director Errol Morris that he could not make an entire film about pet cemeteries. If he did, Herzog would eat his shoes. You can see the end result of the bet in the 1980 documentary “Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe.” See it to believe it.
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