05/22/06 Hugo Pool

Hugo Pool (1997), directed by Robert Downey

watched w/ Leslie (partially); DVD rental (Netflix) @ home & car ride (Raleigh, NC)

This one was odd. In what was labeled (rightly so) as a quirky tale, the film follows the bizarre day of one young entrepreneurial (and smokin' hot) pool cleaner Hugo Pool (Alyssa Milano) in Los Angeles. Hey, isn't everyone in L.A. bizarre though? If this movie is any indication, then yes is the correct answer to that one. There are a ton of (B-list) famous people in this one, including Sean Penn (weird eccentric "Benny & Joon" kinda guy, Malcolm McDowell (wacked out war vet dad), Cathy Moriarty (horse track gambling mom), Richard Lewis (mobster-esque playboy), Patrick Dempsey (wheelchair-bound Lou Gehrig's disease sufferer & love interest to Hugo), and Robert Downey Jr. (Germanic/Hungarian? psychopath rich-boy). She's got 44 pools to clean today, and all she needs for any of these characters to come waltzing into her life messing everything up. Oh wait, they do. Once Downey burns down his house, he hops in the truck with Dempsey's wheelchair, listening to his Stephen Hawking-like-Speak-N-Spell keyboard, as mom dodges bookies with sex to get one last bet at the track, while dad picks up Penn & his blue suede shoes in the water tanker, all to get back into town by 6:30 sharp before Lewis puts the hit out on them all. Did you follow that? Me neither. It's tough to watch or explain. And by the way...did Robert Downey Sr. get Jr. into show business, or was it the other way around. See this junk & you be the judge. P.S. You see at least 95% of Milano's boobs in this one (boyhood/puberty crush almost enough to give it another star, but I'm not taking the cheap way out).

2 out of 5 stars