08/31/06 Bloody Mallory

Bloody Mallory (2002), directed by Julien Magnat

watched w/ Leslie (partially); DVD rental (Netflix) @ home; suggested by Jason

Knowing that this film was supposed to be full of campy gore, reminiscent of Raimi's "Evil Dead" series, with the punch of sex appeal that a redheaded Lara Croft meets "Run Lola Run" supernatural babe can provide...I knew that this was going to be wacky. Our blazing lead mercenary babe is Mallory, who is haunted by her past marriage to a demon that has sucked her into a present life of ridding the world of evil spirits and ghouls. Mallory enlists the help of a stellar oddball cast of commandos to help her in the quest to off all damnable forces...which includes a trenchcoat wearing special agent, a mute telepathic pig-tailed little girl, and a glam-o-rama drag queen with stiletto heels. With their own brand of wits, gadgetry and fearless fighting skills...the rag-tag team of vigilantes starts the story by saving a group of nuns that have been captured by a group of bloodthirsty ghouls bent on wreaking havoc in a church. Upon dispensing supernatural justice, Mallory and her cohorts find that one cloaked figure in the attack may also be responsible for a much bigger heretical plot to kidnap the Pope. Yes, that's right...I'm almost certain that this film was never endorsed by the Vatican in any respect, even though the Pope seems to dig break-dancing...I guess they frown on gory demon-killing. Anyway, Mallory's gang must join forces with a burgeoning priest that is assigned to guard the Pope and keep him away from evil forces. When the Pope mysteriously disappears, all heck breaks loose as Mallory must find the secret passage to a hellish underworld to rescue him. What's funny is that is not only does the Pope turn out to be a not-so-nice dude (he is opposed to any help from such blasphemers as cross-dressing drag queens), but he may even be responsible for a lot of his own evil doings! Zoinks! What's great about this film is all its cliche campy features, from the gruesome characters and horrible English dubbing over the French...with all of the action very much in the vein of smaller screen hits like "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" or "Charmed." However, in the long run, that's exactly where I think this type of film would work best, unlike an "Evil Dead" series...it just didn't have enough pull to make it more than an average fright night comedy. Maybe if the evil Pope break-danced.

3 out of 5 stars