09/06/06 Cheeky!

Cheeky! (2000), directed by Tinto Brass

watched w/ Leslie; DVD rental (Netflix) @ home

Now comes the difference of sexual hang-ups that we have here in America as compared to a lot of our European counterparts. Here also resides the distinct difference in our crappy filmmaking abilities, when stacked up against the dumb equivalents of those same equals. This cheeky (pun unabashedly intended for innuendo's sake) over-the-top sex romp comes to us via Italian pervert Tinto Brass (yeah, of "Caligula" infamy), by way of Ukrainian sex-symbol Yuliya Mayarchuk...who just so happens to play a flitty damsel who comes to England. Yuliya plays Carla, a flirtatious young woman who has recently left from Venice to London in order to find a place for her and her lover Matteo to live in. Dressed in unbelievably skimpy outfits (and always without underwear), Carla proceeds to seduce her way into finding a flat...but inevitably ends up lying flat...on her back! Yeah, this chick should never be trusted in any kind of monogamous relationship, let alone allowed to walk in public with any of the get-ups she tries to pass as clothing in this here motion picture. Granted, the scenery ain't nothing to complain about...but everything else in this ridiculous movie is. The acting (cheesy, not cheeky), the soundtrack (horrible Euro synth-pop monotony), the creepy old men (Brass, giving himself a fitting cameo role), the plot (uhhh, did there really need to be one?), and even the weak attempts at capturing the essence that better predecessors (like Russ Meyer with his boob fascination) have done before over a sexual fetish. Don't get me wrong, I love a great derriere just like the next guy, but there could have been more focus on it (if that was your sole intention anyway) rather than Carla's inept blunders into racy and steamy situations...that in the long run turn out to be forced and given a techno beat. OK, it's cheap thrills...cool, nudity out the wazoo...and sometimes nude shots of the wazoo...but I can't stand the lead actress or how she manipulates people sexually...or why her idiot boyfriend takes her back because he is turned on more by her infidelity. If you use this film as a litmus test (and I do), then Europeans are dumb when it comes to sex. I know the silliness is all in good fun, but it still comes across as nothing more than a way to get women naked from the casting couch onto the big screen. Why can't producer/director types just stick to the old fashioned way by keeping that stuff strictly on the casting couch, crushing young actresses dreams of stardom with one fell swoop of their omnipotent phallic power?

2 out of 5 stars